I think you're doing great. Letting go, dropping the rope - that's hard. I'm basically on day one of it, and although 80% of the time I feel so much better, the other 20% of the time I want to curl up and cry - or set all his stuff on fire.
H: 39, Me: 37 SD: 18, S: 7 M: 9, T: 10 "I love you but am not in love with you" - 5/11 Discovered online affair - 7/11
I broke down and sent H a text tonight. I know I probably shouldn't have and I'm almost positive that he won't respond, but it has been 2 months since we've spoken or seen one another, and we don't even text anymore.
This is my text:
"I know we haven't seen or spoken to one another in quite a while, but I wanted to let you know that not a day goes by that I don't think about you, miss you, and still very much love you. "
I can't help it. I miss him something fierce today. Even if he doesn't respond, I put it out there and let him know how I feel.
Don't worry, I won't sit around moping and hoping he'll text back.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
DG, I'll leave the 2x4s at the lumberyard. I'm not particularly good at swinging them around anyway.
You backslid a little bit. You're keeping your expectations in check though. It was only one text. Just don't follow up on it, text again tomorrow, dwell on it, etc. Then I may have go back to the lumberyard.
DG - JB is right on ^^^^^. My w didn't talk to me for 5 wks. She's now finally talking to me now that she has tole me that she wants a D. Trust me, I know how hard it is to want to text spouse!
Let me ask you this in regards to:
I can't help it. I miss him something fierce today. Even if he doesn't respond, I put it out there and let him know how I feel.
Is that the ONLY reason why you texted him or are you looking for some kind of re-assurance that he still cares about you? We all want our spouse to show us that "they care" or that this process hurts them as much as it hurts us. Be honest with yourself if this rings true (it did and still does for me). If so.. realize that YOU are worth talking to, YOU are worth the investment and if he doesn't put in the effort, it is HIS LOSS and in no way reflects badly on YOU. Remind yourself that every time you miss him, every time you are tempted to reach out. I'm not saying to get angry at him, this is just something that helps me get through those moments, those thoughts stop me from backsliding.
No 2x4 from me. Tomorrow is a new day. The great thing is that a new day brings a new opportunity to work on ourselves.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
DG, we all have, for the lack of a better term, our weak moments. Doesn't mean we messed up, it means we're human and have feelings. Will this one text be the final straw that changes things one way or another? Probably not. Just think of it as getting it out of your system.
It's Saturday. Go on and have a *great* weekend!
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
I wish! Too bad it's storming here and the power is out.
Thanks for your support. I was pretty upset with myself last night, But today I'm realizing that it is what it is and there isn't anything I can do about it now.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
