Feeling Low

[jbnati]

I'm angry because for the past 6 months I've gotten my sh*t together and he hasn't even made an attempt.

I know what you mean. I felt the exact same way when we went to MC a couple of years ago. I felt like I worked my tail off and she didn't lift a finger.

25 said to me a while back "become the woman only a fool would leave.". She's right.
I have become that woman. I'll continue to be that woman. And as for my H-he's a fool.

Unfortunately, you are relegated right now to let him marinnate in his foolishness, for as long as you can stand it. Besides, do you really want a fool back? Or do you want to fix himself before he comes back?

[KenF]

the emotions will even out as time goes by. how much time is unknown. its taken me years. there's still anger, disappointment, regret - all relating to my situation and how it affects my daughter.

but i don't miss X as a person, that's gone.

so time heals, if you keep yourself healing. you can stew in sadness and anger and everything else as long as you choose to.

keep making yourself better, working out was/is my savior. make to-do lists and keep busy. take a break, give yourself a break.

what you put in your thoughts is as much a habit as snooping. control your thoughts. this was my hardest struggle - i spent so much time mulling over what happened and what went wrong, that i couldnt stop. it became the thoughts that started when i wasnt trying.

[~¤DG¤~]

Thanks for the support everyone. I was just having one of those "moments" and thankfully it has passed.

So many people on here inspire me so much, and it means a lot to me to know that I am helping others on here as well.

[JustStunned]

DG, Glad you’re feeling better, they do even out as time and GAL work for us. I had my own STBXW induced snit yesterday. Vented to my sister for 10 to 15 mins, and slept on it. It actually helped me progress a little further.

[Brian in Hville]

We had an R talk last week. I said, "I could become The Best Husband in the World, and our M could be reborn as The Best M in the World, but all you continue to see are the faults and sins of the past." No matter what we do, our WASs cling to the past like some perverse security blanket.

Telemark,

The reason the cling to the past so much, in my case, was because of all the times I would say I changed and the changes didn't stick. It's a cycle to them. It takes a LONG time for them to realize that the change is real and permanent. You just have to hope that there is still something there once they believe it.

[~¤DG¤~]

Journaling again----

Tonight my S10 received his next belt in kuyki-do and he was pretty excited. This is the 2nd promotion that H has missed, and it makes me sad.
He has had a rough week at his Dad's this week, lots of tears and he's angry. I wish I could take his pain away. I have him in counseling, I'm trying to do everything I can to help him cope with this.
I have to remind myself that he was only 2 when his Dad and I divorced and he has no recollection of it at all. He's never had to experience the pain of divorce. It's not a pain I wish on anyone..

[Telemark]

"The reason the cling to the past so much, in my case, was because of all the times I would say I changed and the changes didn't stick. It's a cycle to them. It takes a LONG time for them to realize that the change is real and permanent. You just have to hope that there is still something there once they believe it."

Good observation. In my case, my W is what is referred to as an "Injustice Collector." She is still angry over events in her life that happened 30 years ago. She remembers ever offhand comment, every argument, every situation that caused any pain or sorrow and uses those events to justify her words and actions. That is hard to deal with.

Sorry to hijack your thread, DG.

[~¤DG¤~]

Telemark- No worries, I don't mind at all.

I guess I'm disappointed that this will potentially be my 2nd divorce.
This is why I was so hesitant to get remarried, because I didn't want to get another divorce. I felt like this time was different, that I was with the man that God meant for me to meet.

It's been almost 5 months. I have not seen or spoken to him since May 17th, haven't texted him in like 3 weeks.

I'm not angry all of the time, just sometimes.

[Telemark]

DG, I know what you mean about D #2; I'm right there with you. I swore I would never go through another D after my first one.

Surprise...

[LearningPatience]

DG,
when my troubles started I also had a lot of guilt, disappointment, whatever, thinking I could be D twice. I thought to myself 'who'd want to be with a two-time loser'. I thought that one D and maybe you learned from your mistakes, but *two*...

I generally don't think about that anymore. What will be will be and I can't help what others might think. I hope that you can get to this stage also.

Occasional anger is fine. Remember it's all about what you do with it that counts. Hang in there!