Feeling alone and frustrated with a 180.

[Psych77]

Well, I've read and commented on a few other people's posts, and as the advice is given to keep one thread running, even if only as a sort of journal, that is what I intend to do.

Kinda funny, wife the other night refused sex, saying it was inappropriate with the minimal state of our relationship as it is. Next night, she turned to me and said, "I know this sounds awful, but I'm really horny." There have been other times when I would have been confused, and questioned the inconsistency with this. I think there is something about doing a 180 that makes me feel less compelled to make sense of things in our relationship. At any rate, whatever the cause, I realized that I didn't want to shoot myself in the foot by asking why the change in attitude, and obliged.

I resolved not to make a big deal out of it, just filling a need of hers and mine. But afterward, she initiated spooning with me, and the following night she was still keeping slightly closer contact in bed.

I guess it's probably a hormonal thing, you know - the oxytocin rush after sex makes people want skin contact. But hey, don't those hormones serve to reinforce deeper feelings and commitments we have when our relationships are healthy? In other words, I'll take it!

It's really hard to keep it casual, especially since after sex my whole being wants everything to be close and intimate again, and I want to rush into her arms and expect everything to be better. But I know it's not. And I know that having my whole life center around her was never healthy to begin with. I've always had difficulty making freinds, because I don't understand social interaction very well, so I guess I have always had very few intense relationships in my life. So right now, I don't just have to work on my marriage, but on my whole pattern of relating to other people.

Well, I guess I will look at what some other people have to say.