Its my life

[GAL Man]

I read on another thread something about preparing some answers to questions which may come up in conversations with spouse. I think it was on Johnnie1's thread, it may have been a post by Starsky and Sandi, but anyhow....

Some questions which W put to me previously, which I think I need to look at some potential answers in preparation (Just in case) or BITS may have better suggestions.

Q - Are you seeing anyone as you seem really happy (I can see this one coming up again)

A1 - No
A2 - No I am not seeing anyone, there is only 1 person responsible for my happiness, me
A3 - Sorry W, but we are S, so feel that this is irrelevant
A4 - Why are you?

My preference is No3


Q - Would you have me back after everything which has happened (likely not to come back up, but who knows with a WAW who seems to be in a MLC)

A1 - (Previous response) Only if we both realise how much work we would both need to do
A2 - I don't know, I am working through how I feel at the moment
A3 - Sorry, W, I said that I no longer wanted to talk about us
A4 - Why don't you tell me what you want
A5 - Why don't you tell me what you want, instead of asking me first before you will commit

My preference is No2

Some other stuff

I am sure W's LL's are word of affirmation and quality time, so have been aware to make eye contact, given them my full attention etc, however

Is telling W she looks good (even if she doesn't) classed as pursuing, or putting pressure on her to return the compliment?

I will also, as 25 says, compliment the 1% of good stuff and ignore the bad, fun time only for the kids!

At the end of activiety next week (bowling, pool & airhocky), I will not ask her to come next time we are going, I will wait for her to mention it (so no pursuing or pressure) if W doesn't mention it I will leave it, so her memory of me can click in over the next few days. W knows we go and when we are there......

I set some boundaries last time W was meant to join us, I wont tell her again as she knows them, however......

What if W does starts shouting, arguing with kids or swearing etc, I set the boundary to just leave

should I enforce this?

Play it by ear?

Mention what I had said, and say come on W, no more?

She may just test the waters on this, as W has commented on my changes, and may look to see if the words are backed up with actions!