Is filing for D a 180?

[luvmyhubby]

okay so now i really got upset last night.. I cried and just was really sad.. by myself of course not to my H. I have a program on the home pc that takes screen shots to monitor my son's activity. I was checking it when I got home after he used the computer and found my H came over while i was at work and used the computer. Him using the computer is no big deal.. The big deal is that the screen shots showed he was checking out other girl's social media pages that are not his friends and from our area. He is meeting them now I guess while going out.. Then I noticed he had gone to his profile and went to the marital status page three times in a 2 hour period. He would go and it would show it there for a bit and then he would do something else and then go back like 30 mins later.

That makes me think that he is pondering making his change from married to single. Im sure his new found freedom is challenged by his social media status when other women check him out. It did also show him going to my page.. He checked out EVERY new friend I had which one was male but was work related. He also looked at my pictures on the pages and even old pictures.

I dont know it just upset me because i wasnt expecting it at all. I mentioned none of this to him and am continuing to move onward with my plans and made sure to be happy when he came over today. I know he lies about things still to me but I ignore that and try to be happy..

I believe this is a sign he is conflicted since he didnt change his status.. I think he wants to.. I dont know that this means he is with these women but he is surely thinking about it.
He also looked at a family member's page to see if they posted anything about us I guess.. I think he was looking for something to allow him to change his status..

It is just hard to swallow being left behind.. I understand his path doesnt mean that I am at fault or that anything is wrong with me but it sure hurts like that!

Im feeling strong when I am detached but when I let any light of hope into my heart the pain begins..
Im sad for him also because I know he wont find what he is looking for in these random women but that is his journey...

Still working on me and accepting my responsibility for my part.. that is all I can do besides pray..