Posted yesterday, but it disappeared. Not sure why that happens?????
Thank you, Jackie for your constant support. I really appreciate it tremendously. It really may be affecting my behavior for the better. Hopefully it is. It caught me so off guard when I noticed that I am not getting tense or afraid when H's cell phone rings. Also, since my FIL died, the thoughts of the OW are much, much less. This just brought home the point to me that, whatever my circumstances, there are so many many wonderful things for me to spend my time and energy thinking about. Why waste my life reliving the pain?
A little dip in the pma yesterday, but things are better today. Positives: 1. H has been thinking of what to do on our next date. 2. Alot of hand holding, snuggling lately. 3. H has told me a couple of times that he is thankful for me. Talk about an answer to prayer!
Work has kept me off the bb for most of the week and will continue to do so until next week some time. Please know that I am thinking of you and praying for you, even when I am unable to post much. I learn something new here every day. You are all so terrific!!!! Thank you all for your posts and encouragement. This bb is a blessing.
Here is a copy of a prayer of confession I found in a chapel that I thought some of you may appreciate ~
Lord of the just and unjust, we confess that your ways puzzle us and your commands are difficult. It is not easy to bless those who insult us and to pray for those who abuse us. You summon us to love the ungrateful and the selfish, just as we love those who are kind and generous. This too is a hard demand. In your mercy, God, forgive us. For we have cursed those who have cursed us; we have heaped scorn on the selfish, rather than love. Deliver us from bitterness. Rescue us from resignation. And lift us from despair to hope and trust in your mercy and justce. Amen
Pastoral prayer:
Lord, somehow we always find that your abundant mercy more than meets our need. If we look back on the hard times, we find that you filled our empty lives with grace. We have seen sickness and grief. We have been far from those we love in their time of need, and have been unable to help. {Emphasis mine.} We have endured all kinds of unfortunate circumstances. Because our sorrow grieves you as much at it does us, we know that you seek to strengthen us through hardship. You use the empty place within us as a chalice which you fill not with tears, but with new wine, a renewed sense of joy in life. We offer ourselves now, in silent prayer, to the working of your spirit. Amen.
Both prayers just seemed to what's gone on in my life over the past year. The italicized part above made me think of the part I played in the pre-bomb R.
Take care, everyone ~
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
