Went dark again last Sunday, avoided W this weekend just gone (so 9 days dark again), and told her over a week ago that I accepted her choice and didn't want to talk about us again.
.............and since Monday have received 4 emails from her (nothing for over 4 weeks prior to this), another again this morning, just telling me D14 is having her hair cut next Thur, why couldn't W tell me this on Sunday when we swap the kids over, on Tue at bowling or just let D14 tell me?
Asking about me, how I am, who I have been with, being nicer, asking if she can join me and the kids bowling
Noticing me GAL, commenting on the new me, searching pics out on nieces fb of brothers party (the only pic I am in is by accident, I am in the background at the bar, talking to a female! SIL's cousin)
.........thinking Baby steps for the first time?
Going to send W the email response as wrote above (option 2 Red only) in a couple of hours
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
It’s a weekend thingy party so if you could have the kids on the Fri and Sat that would be great, like I said yesterday I would have the kids weekend 20/21 Aug so it’s a straight swap.
I spoke to S12 yesterday on the phone and he didn’t say much, but do agree boys like to be with there dad, I will speak to him again tonight just me and him and will let you know what he says.
Thanks
So a pleasant response, glad I went with that option.
Getting weird now LOL, just had a call from W, didn't answer, but W left a vm message as follows:
Hi, only me, just calling for a catch up really and to to talk about S12, had a chat with him, give us a call back, chears.
I will text w later saying I missed her call.
Should I ask w to call me tomorrow or is that perusing?
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
I dont feel that asking her to call you back for missing her initial call is pursuing. she made the call. you're simply letting her know you got her voicemail.
but i think your text is much better than telling her to call back tomorrow.
"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".
I say this is probably my biggest 180 as I have had this for over 18 years, and W met me with it. W even said over the years not to shave it off........... Next biggest 180 is not pursuing or fixing
Now that’s change LOL
Seriously though, doing this has made me feel really great today.
On the other hand though, after the increased communication from W this week I was kind of looking for some more, but after thinking should I reply to W's email about D14 getting her hair cut I thought NO.
Email didn't need a reply, I classed it as information only
plus, as others have said, carry on doing what I am doing, I believe it has had an impact.
W calling yesterday evening and leaving a vm message, is off the chart for what W HAD been doing. W would have previously communicated through the kids or waited until she saw me, plus she seemed to be scared to talk to me previously.
May mean nothing, may mean something, either way, I carry on doing what I am doing and moving forward
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
I imagine that has to feel odd if you've had a goatee half your life. I think that's a good 180. Worst than can happen: you don't like being clean shaven and you grow it back.
Keep on doing what you're doing and everything will work out for the best, whatever that best might be.
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
LOL, that was one of my very first 180s, about 2 weeks after the bomb. I only had mine for 10.5 years, and my S had never seen me without it. It DID feel pretty good. It took my W awhile to notice.
LOL, that was one of my very first 180s, about 2 weeks after the bomb. I only had mine for 10.5 years, and my S had never seen me without it. It DID feel pretty good. It took my W awhile to notice.