Jack - good posts, good thread. I decided to have some time out, but sometimes stuff happens, and someone gave me an amazing book which I wanted to share with all those who have helped me so much 'A Million Miles in a Thousand Years'
Basically the guy is saying that we are the heroes of our own story and that if we want to make a better story of our lives then it is down to us. If we listen to external promptings [he believes in God, but actually you don't need to for this book to be powerful, I don't think. although I do] then this helps, but the decision to want and then make the better [that is more meaningful, not more comfortable] life comes from us.
So if you do not like the life you are living, change it in all the ways you can. It takes courage perseverance and hard work. You won't always be happy while you make the changes. In fact he questions whether the goal of life is happiness, rather it is living a good story. And good stories often involve suffering, hardship and grief while the hero [m/f] changes. Even if you do not triumph like they do in films, you will have tried and that makes 'the story' good.
He feels that people who have given up on life have given up on themselves. It is not that life is meaningless but that their story is for them.
I think this means that we should not judge the story of others - if it is good and meaningful to them that is what matters. I urge you to read the book, and I also hope that it will help us to look at the our own decisions and those of others in the context of the story it is contributing to.
You may well be happy if you live a good story, but you will not always be happy. If we make decisions that are geared towards our being happy we will not be very likely to take risks. Sometimes you will go through pain, but the pain will start to have meaning, if that makes sense. Like training for a marathon.
For me it made sense of the debate over whether it 'matters' if it is MLC. If it matters to you as part of your story then it matters. If it doesn't matter then it doesn't. All too often we jump in [me included]and give advice in another story, without understanding that their story is different.
Please do not think I am suggesting we shouldn't give advice. Some people are stuck and miserable and doing dumb things, by any standards [they are not living a good story by their own admission] and need help. Others are simply doing it their way, and it takes a lot of discernment sometimes to knwo the difference.
So, while I probably will not be posting much, and apologies for the long threadjack, Jack [couldn't resist that one] I will let you know from time to time how my story is progressing, now I realise that it isn't just changes within but also deciding to have a new and different story. The ending may not be happy, but the narrative should be good. If it isn't it is down to me, not what life throws at me. I want my life to have real meaning for me.
