Ian...you chased me (although away isn't exactly where I would say you chased me...insert eyebrow waggle )
Denver...
My point is not to defend Ian as he is capable
My point is to let Grr defend herself if she wants to she is a strong woman and needs no white knight riding in (which is how I took your post to be...which I am sure is most likely NOT how you meant it to be...it is just my own dealio)
but
perhaps
this is a prime example of projection
we are all adults and need to remember that it is not our jobs to take care of anyone else here (tough for me to remember...I have a tendency to be a might, some might say, pit-bullish)
We all do make mistakes and unlike Ian, I would give myself about 3 times before banging my head against the cinderblocks but still
the need to bang might be there
and
the need to bang, the urge to bang is GOOD
it keeps us from needlessly loosing the blood of our souls
it is a long, hard road and we have to take care of ourselves firstly....we are good to know one else if we are too weak to get up alone
Grr needs to remember that what keeps her whole and safe is NOT snooping...we all know what we will find
My parents have been married for 36 years my parents have NEVER cheated, or even really raised voices at each other...they hold hands and kiss and my mom sits on my dad's lap and are generally gross all around
my mom never checks my dad's pockets when she does the wash... he has lost countless wallets and watches that way
but she says
she will not snoop
she is happy knowing what she knows and doesn't want to know differently
)