My wife has an Uncle who likes to pop in unannounced for visits occasionally on weekends. She was quite close to her Aunt who passed away a year or so ago, but she was never very close to her Uncle (I believe it was a late in life marriage).
He went so far as to actually enter the house on his own one time when we didn't answer the door, because he saw the cars in the drive and was sure we were home.
Needless to say, we tolerate his visits at best.
I am polite, respond directly to questions directed at me. I attempt to follow the conversation and nod in the appropriate places. And I mentally prepare for reasons to end the visit if he appears to be staying too long.
I probably don't sound very nice...sheesh.
The message is that THIS is how you interact with a spouse when you are going dim.
Now it's harder with a spouse in a situation like yours, because there is hurt and anger behind our dimness.
But it can be done.
As far as my wife's Uncle knows, I am a polite fellow who allows him the courtesy of a visit every once in awhile. I've never been rude, but I've also never extended great invitations for more of a relationship to him.
Works for us.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
