Yeah, I felt really bad for her because she is not happy in her current relationship. She said somthing interesting that I am going to clarify with her is sounded like "I wish (Husband) tried harder... Ill fill in the blank later...
SMQ maybe im really dense... what did you mean by "Hopefully you understand the importance of this coversation. A WAW told you one of the most successful tactics for making them want to be with you."
J
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
J1, not to down play the conversation, but what you said above is important...
Notice... she's still coming from the WAS perspective...
"I wish HE would have tried, harder..."
She still believes, even after leaving the M to be with the OP, that it was her H's fault for not trying harder.
Yes, I understand that you can debate what I said. And it will be an awesome, intellectual exercise...
In the end, it will do nothing to get your M back.
Until your friend owns that SHE could have tried harder...
Until your W owns that SHE could try harder, only THEN will the two of you be able to consider R...
A friend of mine who's brother just went through the same sitch as I just told me... her brother's X had indicated that brother could have moved back in... but the question is... did she ASK him to move back in...? No... She puts it out there, like it was up to HIM to assume that would be OK. So... it is HIS fault...
Notice... she's still coming from the WAS perspective...
Yes. Understand the WAS prespective. If you haven't notice they are the ones who have their LBS's persuing them. NOT the other way around. hmmmmmmm..... They are DOing WHAT WORKS!
Notice... she's still coming from the WAS perspective...
Yes. Understand the WAS prespective. If you haven't notice they are the ones who have their LBS's persuing them. NOT the other way around. hmmmmmmm..... They are DOing WHAT WORKS!
"So now I have to identify what works to have my wife persue me..."
Wrong. You do what you do for YOU. Not to have her pursue you. If you're only doing things based on what you THINK she wants, the changes won't be real AND they won't be for life.
Never change your life FOR someone else. If those changes are things you recognize are good changes for you, then great. But that's when they're for you.
If you think you look good, then great! Show off your swagger. If your W notices that, consider that a plus, but not the primary benefit.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
"Wrong. You do what you do for YOU. Not to have her pursue you. If you're only doing things based on what you THINK she wants, the changes won't be real AND they won't be for life."
This is a big and one of the most important shifts to make. Great advice MB.
I never really bought too strongly into this whole strutting around dressed to the nines idea.
I think women like seeing a man who is well taken care of, but I don't think they particularly are attracted to a man who they think is just showing off.
REGARDLESS, I DO strongly believe that your attitude and how you carry yourself is FAR, FAR more significant than what you are wearing or how you dress.
You're focusing on the SUPERFICIAL.
That's NEVER winning your wife back.
Instead of worrying about whether you are dressed right or smelling right, get back to work on YOU. You STILL worry too much about her, and you are still completely UNCONFIDENT in yourself.
I'm fairly certain that she can smell that like a shark smells blood in the water. Regardless of how nice you look.
And as for the whole boxes thing, I think maybe you've missed the point.
THIS IS NOT A SKIT. You are not putting on a performance for her. If that's why you're doing it, forget it and don't do it.
How can we get you to LEAVE this mode of trying to TRICK her into loving you, and get you to MOVE on with becoming a man she'd be a fool not to love?
Again Johnnie...SUPERFICIAL crap will only get you crap in return.
If you're ready to make a decision, and that decision might be either leaving or telling her she has to leave, then you would naturally start accumulating moving boxes.
You would NOT scatter them around the house (because you're wanting to be SURE she sees them - THAT is a performance), you'd start stacking them up somewhere natural.
She might see them. She might not. It might take awhile for her to see them, BUT WHO CARES? They're not there for HER benefit, they are there for YOURS.
If she asks why you got them you say something like..
"Well, I haven't heard what your plans are, and I have no intention of staying in a relationship that involves more than two people."
PERIOD.
Walk (or run if you have to) away to avoid any further talk. Go for a drive, go shopping, go visit a friend, go workout, ANYTHING that takes you away.
That's MY take on this Johnnie.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
First off I was dressed up for an interview. Believe me with my good clothes and contacts, I got many girls heads turned in the office. I aced that interview, not because of my skill set or resume. Everyone was pretty evenly matched there, I nailed it because I used my charm to win over the 3 female interviewers. God... I needed that pick me up. When I came home, I didn't strut, my ego boost from a day of female attention said it all. I am the alpha male. If she can't see it and doesent plan on working on our R then her loss. Im going to turn the tables on her now and she can peruse me, she just doesn't know it yet. Then when she is ready to work, we stand a chance. I'll be hitting the gym and sticking to my diet everyday. She won't know what hit her.
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
