J1, not to down play the conversation, but what you said above is important...
Notice... she's still coming from the WAS perspective...
"I wish HE would have tried, harder..."
She still believes, even after leaving the M to be with the OP, that it was her H's fault for not trying harder.
Yes, I understand that you can debate what I said. And it will be an awesome, intellectual exercise...
In the end, it will do nothing to get your M back.
Until your friend owns that SHE could have tried harder...
Until your W owns that SHE could try harder, only THEN will the two of you be able to consider R...
A friend of mine who's brother just went through the same sitch as I just told me... her brother's X had indicated that brother could have moved back in... but the question is... did she ASK him to move back in...? No... She puts it out there, like it was up to HIM to assume that would be OK. So... it is HIS fault...
