I am both. I successfully busted my divorce through using the techniques I learned here, taking a good look at myself and learning to let loose a little, learning to speak my husband's love languages, learning to validate, letting go of the rope, etc. He stopped his affair, and we had several of the best years of our marriage.
Then life intervened, in the form of my health problems, his concussions, family stresses, his work stresses, his approaching fifty, etc etc. It fell apart again and we divorced. BUT - I had peace in my heart that I had tried my very best to save the marriage. And once I was able to let go, my life became filled with wonderful things. I know I could NEVER have made it through all this as gracefully without the valuable lessons I learned here. So I consider myself an ongoing success story!
Now I play the drums in an amateur rock band and I'm going on tour again next week as percussionist for my professional musician friend. I have a beautiful new house, fun new friends, and just last week met a sexy new guy who just might be a keeper.
