Forgetting those things which are behind......

[mockers2]

Hello everyone -

I am away from my regular office ans so have not been able to read or post very much at all.

Just wanted to et you all know I am thinking of you and continue to pray daily for you and your families. I am so thankful to have been led to this board. I continue to learn from all of you courageous people. Hopefully I will be able to catch up with everyone early next week.

The title of my thread is from Philippians 3:13-14

Forgetting those things which are behind..., I press on toward the goal.

I thought it fit with the things I'm currently working on/struggling with - to live without being fearful and to forgive those who have hurt me in this last year.

Things are going along pretty much as they were with us. I did initiate an R talk last night and just told my H that on most days, I felt very confident and unafraid with regard to our R, but that every once in a while, I feel afraid. I said that I thought this was probably normal and just asked that he be understanding if I seemed a little shaky on some days. Probably not the best DB'ing, but I felt like he needed to know that I am going through this. He stated that he is happy with me and that his wish to have another baby should help me see that he feels confident about us.

I also told him that i'm only interested in a monogomous relationship, which he agreed with. I know this is no guarantee, but I was glad he said these things.

I thanked him for listening and today have kept things light.

I find that I have trouble when I allow myself to dwell on thoughts of H and OP. I need to use the stop sign and redirect myself, although I'm sure thoughts like this are normal. I just don't want to give OP the power by letting thoughts of her ruin my day or my time with my family. There are still days when I find it hard to believe any of this has really happened.

Hope you all have peaceful holidays. Thank you for being here.