What to do when nothing is working

[liz_palmer]

Our anniversary went well. Things aren't perfect but I wouldn't expect them to be perfect after all we've been through. We're working on it.

Starsky - I think you're 100% correct - now if you would just figure out someway for you to be inside my head each time one of these situations arise everything would be perfect.

I'm still 'gun shy' when it comes to confronting him too much because if he does choose her over me I still don't have an income to support those of us left behind. Please understand that while this may not seem important to some of you it is a realistic concern and it's important to me. I have started my own business and I have my first client already so I do have some income coming in but not nearly enough yet.

Yes, it has been brought to my attention that I am starting to detach from the relationship and that the more income I can make on my own the easier it will be for me to fully detach from the relationship. Detachment is the last thing I want - I want my husband back. But my communication is quite poor right now because I'm not quite sure where he's at mentally and of course no one wants to be refused.

My therapist said today she wonders if he wants me to 'fight' for him. She thinks he's telling me everything about the OW because he wants me to know what she's doing to get him back while at the same time wondering why I'm not 'fighting' to get him back. So she gave me afew 'adult' ways to fight for him while not acting like a 6th grader.

I'll keep in touch.
Liz