1. Is there a way you can mourn in private? I know it [censored] to not have your spouse there for this and I think she is being unreasonable. How are you moping? I mean think about it, if you your W was in a funk and moping, would you want to be around her? If you are have problems with your mothers death, have you talked to your IC about it? For me it helps just to have someone to talk to. 2. I'd let her thoughts on her feelings lie. If she is okay with things then you know that her feelings can change. 3. If you found a good MC, it is more important than ever to NOT slack off when things are good. I know the temptation is there, but when things are good is when you have to work just as hard. Or all the work during the not so good times will be for naught. It's good that your W agreed to pick it up again. 4. do you guys have alone time for just you two? I think that is very important. if your wife is game there are also some exercises that you 2 can do to help rekindle things. Friendship is an important step, but I think there needs to be some intimacy. Take this for what it's worth, but I would start with some really small things if you want. Like a small touchs, or maybe a hug/kiss every now and then. Go small and go slow. Like flirting with her. if she was someone you were interested in, but didn't know. How would you react to her?
To an extent it is pursuing, but if you and your wife are working on things, I think it's okay. JTB and others can chime in.
You also need to take a hard look at what you want in an M and if your W can provide it.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
