Johnnieno1, I've been following your sitch, and I'm going to chime in here with something you probably already know but have not done:
you've gotta grow a pair.
NO WOMAN, whether she's single, happily married, unhappily married, divorced, or _______________(fill in the blank) wants to have anything to do with a weak man. And you are coming off as a weak man to your W. Stop communicating. Stop acting like a hurt puppy.
GET A LIFE.
We have all been where you are. And we have all found out this type of behavior does not work.
Read that again: "This type of behavior does not work." Ever.
I have been living with my W since the bomb dropped 4 months ago. I did everything you have been doing. It got me nowhere. I took the advice of the veterans on this site and pulled back; way back. I took back my role of "Man of the House." That does not mean I became a controlling bully or continued to be a whiny little boy. But I do not go out of my way to avoid my W. She is the one who is threatening to walk so I let her deal with any discomfort. I come and go without saying a word. I make my own meals, do my own laundry and basically live as if she were not in the house.
If you continue to try and change your W or the situation, you will fail. You will drive her away faster than you can believe, and she will see no reason to return.
Stop talking. Start doing.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS