WAW for 6+ years -- Need Help

[SolutionOriented]

Tank, thanks for the input.

Regarding the going out and not coming back till late is not me. I do go to college every Wednesday (6-10 pm) straight from work and w calls me before class I don't call her.

I can do better by arranging for a coffee with a friend or two so I agree with going out, but not till late at night. That may be my downfall, but one I'll take on the chin if needed.

I have been following steps 1-37 with the following notes.
Step 5 - Wife talks about the future so I talk about it, otherwise I don't bring it up. When w talks about buying a house where we're at I let her talk and I say nothing. In the past before I started DBing I would tell her there's no way I would buy a house with her due to the shape our marriage is in. She would looked surprise and upset...go figure. Anyway, she can 'dream' all she wants but I don't have to say anything.

Step 11: I say "I love you" only after wife says it and then at times I still don't say it. Its up to me and only after she says it. If she doesn't say it neither do I.

Step 20: if she brings up our R then I discuss it with her but haven't done so since 1 June. Other than to ask if there's anything I can do to help her when she's depressed over her sitch. That's her problem now, nothing I can do about it. She has to want to make the changes necessary to feel better, I've realized I can't do that for her.

Step 27: I am working out and keeping busy when able. If we're home on the weekends together then I do yardwork or housework or something to keep me busy and away from her as much as possible. For the most part, that works. I do not, I repeat, DO NOT clean the entire house by myself anymore. I realized that was doing nothing but making my home cleaner. It did not 'change' my wife or bring her closer to me. Was she appreciative? Of course. did it change anything by me doing it all...NO! So, when she mentions cleaning the house now she knows its a two or three-person (when son is required to help) job.

I am trying, Tank, 25yearsmic. I do see your points and I do try to continue to adhere by the list provided to me. I do want my m to be saved. I just finished week 10 of DBing. So, even though this has been ongoing for 6+ years I realized through my MC and the DBing book that I was doing everything wrong during that time. There may have times when I was actually DBing and not knowing it, but for 90% of the 6+ years I was doing everything you shouldn't do. So, DBing for 10 weeks and we'll see where this leads. As I told my MC last week, I am preparing or strengthening myself for what may happen but am still DBing as well because I need to know, myself, that I did all I could should this not work.

As always, thank you for you candid remarks and helpful advice.