I am the devil....

[tadpole1025]

Thank you SC, AJ and Cadet. A few things I forgot to mention:

She said that she has been mentally divorcing me for 5 years

Told me in December that she hired an expensive attorney. Last night she said that she doesn't have one.

Said that she told her sister and sister-in-law for years how unhappy she was. (Seems to me that I should have been told.)

Was upset because my FB status says "seperated." Why is she upset? It is truth.

Told me that filing for D cost her a thousand dollars. A couple of months ago, she said 4 thousand.

There is more. I will post as I remember it.

SC, you said:

She is so NOT done with you IMVHO. There is too much anger in her for you for her to be done with you.

Is this good?

AJ:

Keep in mind Tad, this is how she "feels". That's not the same as truth. Figure out what is real and what isn't if you can, and leave the rest on the ground.

It is her truth though isn't it? I just can't believe the coldness and anger coming from her.

She'll never trust somebody again yet she needs somebody in her life? Really. Huh. Does that make sense to you Tad? I doubt it.

Not at all.

That said, you cannot guess what or when she will be feeling anything. Stop trying to do that and focus on you. My guess is that she does see the changes because accused you of that later when she said you changed too little too late.

I point that out because it means you may want to consider staying the course, no?

I want to stay the course. There is nothing I want more. This just hurts terribly. Like I said, I just can't get over the hate and anger towards me.

Much of that is projection from what I saw.

Oh yeah. Projection for sure.

The friends question? I think you are looking at it backwards. You think the friends influenced her decision? How about another perspective? This clue-by-four is given out of loving kindness: what if she sought out friends that would give her that advice instead of having friends first who happened to give out the advice? Perhaps several old friends said something different and were summarily excused? Just making sure you realize you cannot figure out what you are seeing like that. You don't have the information my friend.

I see your point. I guess it is very possible. It is so like her to seek out people that will just tell her what she wants to hear.

Cadet:

You are begging and pleading here.
Do you see that?

Your best bet is to go as DARK as possible.

There is not much else that you can DO.

She is DEEP in replay and nothing else will make any sense.

I see that. To be honest though, how much darker can I go? If I go dark and am friendly and nice when we do talk and go along with everything, won't that make her think that this is okay? It is far from okay.

She sent me a text today giving me an exact address of the place that she wants to meet on Monday. Nothing more. Nothing less. As of right now, I have not responded. Should I?

Today I FINALLY got approved for nutrition assistance. The boys and I will be eating like kings again.

Tomorrow, I go to the IRS because (hard to explain here) I think W may have tried to pull a sneaky trick on me. I have to protect myself.

I can't believe all of the similarities in the different situations on this board. Honestly, it is scary.

My mom told me this morning that I was crazy for still loving her. I can't help it. I love her more than anything. Does that make me crazy? Maybe, but I don't care.

Thanks friends.

Tad