Journaling while I wait for my post to be moderated
Received a few short emails from H today and responded with very short answers, required responses or I would have let them go.
Later in the day got an email requesting we do something one night this week and offered two nights to pick from. Not sure if this is due to the slide that I had last night when talking about the relationship (which I now regret doing). This could change, he tends to plan something with me and then cancel at the last second. Happens quite frequently these days.
He also requested my "travel plans" for the rest of the month so he could get them on the calendar. One is a work trip and one is a girls weekend, but he needs to know dates to ensure the kids are covered. I just got a strange vibe when he asked for the dates. I have to assume it was just for the kids and nothing else.
I have no reason to believe yet that the is OW this time around and don't want to jump there unnecessarily. I can't assume and I am certainly not digging for proof. You know what they say, if you dig enough you will find something. Not going there.
He has verbalized in the past month that he is "unhappy with himself" and "needs to break out of his rut". Feels like he does the same thing every day, etc. That is when he started to distance from me noticably (sp?).
He is definitely only hanging out with friends who will support his selfish behavior and drinking to excess. He has not been hanging out with other friends recently, the ones I would consider better for him. I just stand back and watch.
He has absolutely stopped caring about anything that is happening in my life, either personally or professionally.
I honestly don't know what to do about the night this week that he is requesting. I don't know which end is up most days right now.
