Don't know where I am

[angel61]

For me, every sitch comes in stages. Newcomers, people who have been bombed and don't know what hit them, don't know what to do -the DR/DB strategy, the 37 rules, are lifesavers. They give you direction when you are too numb to think, and make you realize that YOU are not alone in the world, and that in many cases, M's have been saved, and why not follow where others have trodden? It is like shotgun therapy in a sense, give it the broadest spectrum antibiotic, plus isolate the patient from others, and something is bound to work.

But then comes the stage after the crisis. Thats when you have time to think, as questions, really want to dig in deeper. And thats when you have to start applying the rules when you want to, understanding what the rules mean, how it applies, etc. You've got a brain, put it to use. For example, as a doctor, even if there is a protocol to follow in the management of diseases, it doesn't always work the same way in every case with the same disease. Again, going back to medicine, time now to titrate the dosage, adjust to the factors influencing the condition of the patient.

Now is the time to really look into yourself, your W, think of all the litte things, stretch your mind! Go above and beyond what the book says, read other books, delve into the nooks and crannies of your M. Be thankful for the gift of time, do not rush!!!

WE are in the same boat, with different personalities within the sitch. Many people in this boards call it a journey, and more and more, I am seeing why, and really thinking that there was a reason all of this happened, and we have the power to turn this into a positive experience, if we try hard enough. Conversely, if we think about turning it into a negative one, it will go that way too. Thinking that you are done, looking at how your W is not physically attracted to you - that is all so negative for me. Especially since your W is showing a lot of positives.

I think though that you are just trying to protect yourself from further hurt for the time when your coaster is on the downswing again, and that is understandable. But instead of binging it down when its up, do it the opposite way: bring it up when your down. Think you can do that?

Your sitch is waaay better than a lot, and I honestly and truly believe your M has a good chance.