See I am so lost... Please someone help me! 3

[GAL Man]

Johnie

You have got some great help here, esp the ones above.

Look I have been reading your thread from the start, and I must be honest, I don’t see a lot of moving forward by YOU.

Hell yes its hard, bl**dy hard, I know, I’m there also, as are many others. You need to take a deep breath, step back and look at where you are.

DETATCH, DETATCH, DETATCH

Again, Bl**dy hard, but you MUST DO IT, or work to it. As Yoda says, do or do not, there is not try

Let go of what you have no control over, you control YOU. Ask yourself these questions (these are some of the ones I asked myself)

1) Who is Johnie?
What I mean by this is not the person you had became, not the person you were at the end of the marriage, and not the person you portray now, but who is the real Johnie, what wonderful traits did you have when you first met W, what makes you tick. Think who you really are. You are a lot more confident deep down aren’t you.

2) Acceptance (this is just the start of this one!)
Recognise your faults, how you contributed to the failure of the marriage. Acknowledge them, accept them and own them. Learn from them, but don't dwell on them. Only then will you be able to forgive yourself and others and move forward.

3) What do you want? (Different to need, but some may be the same)
You only get one chance at life, and most experts say one major f up/mistake. What do you want out of life? What makes you happy? Where do you want to be? What vision do you have for this? How will you get to this vision?

4) GAL
How can you enjoy life, think of activities with your kids, on your own, with friends etc etc etc

You can do this, we are here to help you, but please please listen to others here who offer exceptional advise and a lot based from THEIR experiences of what works.

Yes, you don’t have to listen to any of it, but WTH would we all be doing here if we ignored stuff.

Do what works, do not do what does not work, like the books and good peps here say

Say to yourself over and over to start believing it, “no matter what happens I can handle it”

Come on Johnie