I found out H has been visiting prostitutes. A lot of them. I am not sure if he actually slept with the original OW's, although he absolutely does still talk to them. On my last post, I said he left the house, well according to the cell bill, he was texting the whole time he was gone, so maybe he actually was trying to be respectful of me or he was sexting and wanted privacy. Whatever. He also spent about 4 hours at work on Saturday, and I doubt it was all work, but again, no proof of anything, other than he was texting his favorite OW during most of the time he was gone. I have no idea if she's holding out on him or what.
The interesting thing about all of this is that absolutely NONE of the women is anything like me or any other woman he's dated before. I am white, and the initial OW's are hispanic and italian, and the prostitues are usually mixed race black, asian, hispanic. I also found out that the night I was gone to a party with my kids and he was alone in the house, he did not call or text anyone. But when he's at work or with me, he's Mr Texty. I guess he's so messed up by his stress, he uses the OW's to control his emotion. Everything about his other pursuits screams control freak. He is controlling each of these women, controlling his contact with them and theirs with him, and it is only superficial or about sex. I actually feel sorry for H. He's one messed up man.
I have given him a new nickname. New Coke. He kind of resembles the old him, but not really, and I don't like him. No one likes New Coke. I really hope he brings Classic Husband back, because I love that guy to pieces.
Detachment for me is no longer an issue. I have released H to do whatever he must, and hopefully I will get a job soon so he can move out of our house and begin to heal or change or whatever. Clearly, I am holding him back. I'm not sad or angry anymore, I just accept that this is not about me or our marriage or our family. He's just nuts.
