I just caught up on your sitch and I have to say that you're doing amazingly well for the short time you've been DBing.
I agree with the other posters about your ExP's R with the ow not lasting. I believe that was doomed from the get go. Something about it just doesn't quite set well.
Please tell us that you secured the money he said was for you. I have a feeling this ow is going to teach ExP some very painful financial lessons amongst other things. MLCer's are notorious for spending money, also.
Ask him to email you a list of the things he wants. Pack them up and when you're ready tell him to come and get them. Leave them outside of the door if you can and do not be home. Remember you're busy with your own new life.
It sounds to me like he needs his fix where you're concerned. Once he gets it, it will relieve his guilt for a while, and he may withdraw for a bit. Then it will build back up again. Don't give it to him. Let him wonder about where you are and what you're doing. The more he thinks about you, the less time he concentrates on ow.
As far as phone conversations go, whenever he starts to talk about something that makes you uncomfortable, just tell him that someone's at the door, or timer is going off on the stove, or that you're getting ready to go out, (even if it's for a walk around the neighborhood) and end the convo. There is no reason you have to sit there and listen to that fogged up drivel.
