I guess its MLC-new need advice 6 months in

[25yearsmlc]

Day 13 NC. I am really struggling. Going back and reading old posts that are helpful.

CONGRATS ON DAY 13...But having those comments from friends makes it harder on YOU.

Stay the course...

How invested is he witht his OW???---We don't know...

I am venting but could use some encouragment.

I am GALing but its hard to believe that H is too but with another family. Breaks my heart. I want my old H back. OR, at least the one I thought I had. Thanks for listening.

again, stay the course...

Detach and learn to let what you cannot control, roll off your back.

No more mind reading. I honestly think you're making it out as if he's ALL happy and

forgot his own family...really life, do you believe that?

I mean I know he's an alcoholic, but so was my dad, but HE remembered he had kids...

Honey, he KNOWS he has a family. He needs a family fix and is getting it for now. But I bet you every time he's with them, he thinks of HIS/YOURS...

When he begins to think his children might be around some OM, well, I wonder...

Not saying to play a game. Just wondering what would happen if he worried about it.

I have neighbors who have a split family. The mother went into a major MLC... (Her d2 plays with my d2.) Huge personality changes. Went from being the rigid PTA mom (told me once I sliced cake "too big" and took over for me...I laughed b/c she was so serious, and it was for 2nd grade!!) ANYHOW

SHE left the family home and kids. And She began partying big time and had OM and let her kids meet him weeks into it...then OM#2, also met the kids, etc. And OM#3 too...moves in, moves out for new OM.

Her h was so torn up. He was older. But He did rise to the occasion with his kids, thankfully. I could not let d2 over at the "mother's place" b/c of the drinking & drugs & driving, etc....but they're still friends and we have her d2 over here or have our d2 at the family home, etc

But the odd thing was that the mother told me all about her new life and the man she was living with and HIS CHILDREN....

and suddenly, she asked me if I thought her h might "bring OW to HER home someday...b/c the thought of OW 'raising' her own children was 'too much' for HER"

I said, "don't you think that's a double standard?" Honest to God, the mother looked at me like it was the first time it occurred to her that her h might begin dating OWs...


She moved home the next month...True, it didn't last. She only came home to check if her h was still stuck on her. (But I wonder if there had been a real OW on the horizon, she'd have stayed.)

but isn't it odd that it never occurred to this MLC woman, that her h might date OW and that OWs might be around her kids....literally clueless.


Gotta wonder what a little mystery on your end might do for you, Life...
couldn't hurt.

And again, congrats on the NC!!