Don't know why friends and family make it a point to tell you things like this, but maybe from misguided loyalty? Just tell them you'd rather not hear about those things.
I remember people telling me the things my H was doing for the ow around her house, things, as you said, that he didn't do here.
I know it hurts, but I'm here to tell you that it does get better.
25 is spot on. You are the only one you can control.
