Forward, slow as she goes

[BeingMe]

So, taking it one day at a time. Can't rush life ... have to savour the moments, even the negative ones.

My D18 and I are going to visit D31 in Germany at the end of the month. I am looking forward to it. My little grandson will have grown some, and I can't wait to cuddle him, and spoil him and his sisters. We'll be there for more than a month, so once again, will have little contact with H. I think he is happy being in his own bedroom, traveling to work during the week, having me here to cook and be a companion on the weekends (we go to breakfast sometimes, or a movie, or hang out with friends) ... nothing romantic, just like friends. I give him his space, and take mine when I want it. I am in the process of decorating my bedroom in my own taste. It was a conglomeration of his taste (mostly, because I always gave in to him, not wanting him to be unhappy in his room), and a little of mine. For instance, he doesn't like flowers on his bedding ... now, it is all flowers, in it's colourful glory. It makes me feel positive and hopeful in such a room. I have moved most of his stuff out ... just have to get his cd player into his room, and a few magazines/books in his side table, and his alarm clock.

Life goes on. Sometimes, I am happy despite the negatives, and sometimes I want to cry because of the sadness that is our M. But, I remain hopeful for my future, whatever may come.

Here is my previous thread. previous thread.