I am going to go to the hospital and speak to a dr to see I'f I can get anti depressants. My regular dr is on holidays for 2 weeks. I need the ADs to get me out of this black hole I'm in. My hope is that the assist I get from them will get me back into life and help me with my job interview next week, not to mention acting "as if"...
Thank you 25mlc, aoe on sandi. Your help is greatly appreciated, and if you were here with me, I would hug you. If I didn't have this board, I don't know where I would be...
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
I was thinking I might read one of, or both of the following books, to try to understand what my WAW has gone or is going through. Is this worthwhile for me, or would it do more damage than good right now? Is her EA standing in the way of my efforts to GAL?
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
I am going to go to the hospital and speak to a dr to see I'f I can get anti depressants. My regular dr is on holidays for 2 weeks. I need the ADs to get me out of this black hole I'm in. My hope is that the assist I get from them will get me back into life and help me with my job interview next week, not to mention acting "as if"...
Thank you 25mlc, aoe on sandi. Your help is greatly appreciated, and if you were here with me, I would hug you. If I didn't have this board, I don't know where I would be...
you're welcome. I know without this board, I'd have gotten a divorce. Seriously.
ask the doctor for anti-anxiety too IF you are ok with that. I found that most helpful and immediate as the AD's take awhile to kick in and even with those,
at times it was the anti-anxiety meds that kept me from really losing it with h.
Esp in front of the kids. Also helped me sleep, thank GOD...(beats a 6 pack of wine coolers and without the weight gain... )
((( ))) right back atcha
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I don't see how the books are going to hurt you if they help you understand things
the issue is what? You'll confuse/diffuse approaches? Well, don't. I mean, read to understand IF IT HELPS YOU...
is it more an obsessive thing to do? Maybe and that's not great. BUT if it keeps you from hounding HER in order to understand...then maybe it's alright.
It's how you handle what you learn that matters...
but don't read ANY book with the idea that there is some "Secret" to all this. God knows we wish there were.
DBing will save you, at the very least. Give it a solid try and add TIME to that...and if you are becoming the man you were meant to be,
then you have to leave the results up to God.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
The psych inters, were helpful. Only got the ads for now for 2 weeks until my doc is back from vaycay. They reminded me that I am taking too much ownership for my Ws issues. And it was helpful to hear that my reaction and feeling were all normal in this sitch. furthermore it was 11:40 when I got home From the hospital... That should leave her guessing my whereabout all night...
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
3 hrs sleep last nite, I couldn't get the thoughts of my W with OM out of my head. I think I am going to go crazy... Why do I feel this internal battle inside me. How am I going to deal with it. I
Is it because my W still has not addressed her A with me?
Is it because I am not getting mre than 3 hrs of rest per nite?
What can I do to restore my inner peace?
The dc said last nite it would take up to 2 weeks for the meds to work in my system.
How much longer do I give my wife before I set boundaries (end her A and begin MC) or at least talk to her?
I decided last night that even if she wants to separate, I would refuse to sign any papers until we had made a solid attempt at MC. Is that controlling?
How will setting boundaries hurt my ultimate goal of DB?
If is so frustrating that I can't sleep. I have never had problems sleeping in my life.
I am also struggling with telling my parents about my W affair. On one hand I need their support, on the other hand I don't want them to look at her and see her A every time...
God please help me...
I need to regain my sanity...
This would be so much easier if I could hate my W, but I don't, I love her.
I need peace...
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
My W left for the gym this morning, and sent me this note...
"On 2011-07-10, at 7:48 AM, wifesname@yahoo.com wrote:
It is too nice for gym so I am at a nice park going for a nice big walk and maybe jog too. If (Son) wants to go play at (cousins) later I can drive him. (W)
My reply:
That would be a good opportunity to think about things too.
Sent from my iPad"
Is this pushing her?
All I hear is "I know that on your way to church you will drive by the gym, and won't see my car there, so I have to cover my ass so that I can go see OM"...
I feel like she is lying to me more... Because she would never send this message otherwise. She is only sending it now because she knows that otherwise I will have questions for her when she gets home.
What I really wanted to send back to her reads "if you are going to see him, don't bother coming back home. I don't want you here anymore."
I have no trust of her anymore. How should I handle this?
Im in turmoil...
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
Johnnie STOP! just stop. control yourself and slow down.
6 days!?!? and you're ready to quit? do you read any other stories here? do you grasp many have been where you are for months and still fighting? you are at the very beginning here. and yet you are making you nuts.
you are MAKING you nuts. NOT her. NOT OM. YOU.
you're here looking for the magic answer, and got frustrated when we told you there wasnt any.
you're reading random books looking for the magic answer and get frustrated because they're not there.
now you're on meds and getting frustrated they may take 2 weeks to work.
SLOW DOWN. get a grip on yourself. man up. put that spine of yours to work.
you are expecting results and you've barely started the process. you have your checklist and are wondering why it isnt working yet.
but you've completely ignored the fact you're dealing with another person who has their own agenda which has probably been put in place a long time ago, and you never noticed. if you ask her, she probably spent months working on her own checklist to get you back into the marriage, and you are completely oblivious to it.
it took a long time for your M to get to this point, lots of bad actions, lots of misused opportunities, lots of hurtful actions you dont even know you did. You cannot realistically expect it to be fixed because you did 6 days of DB.
how do you stop thinking about OM? you just do. whenever it comes into your mind, you must forcefully get it out. instead think about what you need to do. or think about pink elephants, whatever works. but its up to you.
stop waiting for her to do something, stop expecting her to do something, stop waiting for her to react. its all and only about you.
"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".
My W left for the gym this morning, and sent me this note...
"On 2011-07-10, at 7:48 AM, wifesname@yahoo.com wrote:
It is too nice for gym so I am at a nice park going for a nice big walk and maybe jog too. If (Son) wants to go play at (cousins) later I can drive him. (W)
My reply:
That would be a good opportunity to think about things too.
Sent from my iPad"
Is this pushing her?
its more a shove than a push. but to answer your question yes.
"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".
)