New - HELP! Tried the 180/Last Resort & Failed

[AloneAt35]

Thanks everyone for your feedback. It sounds like I should keep communication if he reaches out again (haven't heard from him in a couple of days, but he is at his folks).


I am just having such a rough day. Thinking about packing up the house and putting most of my stuff in storage (downsizing from a half-house to a studio apartment will be a challenge). Sometimes I feel a bit resentful that my standard of living is dropping so much at this stage of my life. I wonder if I'll ever live in more than a rented room again.

I guess I've got to look at the positive things: I've survived almost four months since he dropped the bomb, I have my health even though I don't have health insurance, my mom is helping me with groceries and some friends have given rides on rainy days, I've gotten a new job that pays a bit more starting in the fall and will continue looking for a f/t job, I'm managing with my bike commute to my summer job, I discovered I CAN live alone (even if I don't like it), I have more time for reading the Bible and am comforted by it, I KNOW God is looking out for me (faith is a great thing), I have the DBing community to guide my efforts at personal growth (and maybe someday, relationship repair), I have proven to Ex-P that I can and WILL survive without him, I was given a good life for nearly twenty years and am not left with too much destructive anger, I know I did my best and I have my integrity...that is more than Ex-P can say.