Where is the line?

[thatgirl007]

Just a general update, my normal long, rambling .

I am doing well. You know when you get to days where the most pressing thought on your mind is "Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate....yum" and when you can giggle and gape at mindless TV, you've come a long way.

There was a time when I never thought I would feel normal again, but I really do feel normal again, but even more than that, I relish that feeling. Having been to the point of complete abnormality, normal is a beautiful thing.

H is towing the line - and so am I We're getting along, going to C, talking, hanging out, dating, having sex when it feels right. It's good. H had a nice breakthrough about his depression and will have to pursue IC to sort all of that out. I am doing a complete 180 and not asking questions about it or trying to manage/handle it for him. I listen and that's it. I only give advice if asked for it.

I'm actually doing a big 180 and being less "in control" of everything that relates to him and our R. He is leading and I am following - and I am leading or acting only when he asks.

I think that the person I need to lead the most is myself and this has been a great change and transition for me. I think it's reflected positively on our R, too, because I feel less burdened and, oddly, more in control.

I have my moments, but I really am getting to a place where I recognize how awesome I have it. I'm still not sure that my M will be salvaged or if H and I will ever be ready to move back in together - but I am happy that we are friends and love each other enough to respect each other, regardless of our R status.

I gave some lengthy advice to a friend's daughter who recently separated from her H - and as I watched her cry and heard her repeat the things that so many of us have said, I am so grateful to be on the other side of that initial storm and to be on a more even keel - and I never would have thought I'd be able to help someone who is going through a similar thing seven months ago when H walked away.

My city has recently been reeling over a shooting rampage that took place on Thursday and as I read about the root of all of the issues - domestic violence, marital separations and divorce - I am very grateful that I've fared as well in my sitch as I have.