No anti depressants. Just exercise, I went for a 2.5 hour walk this morning, dispute only getting 3.5 hours of sleep last night. My Dr. Suggested if I could take control by setting my boundaries, I would get through this. I am on other meds for a heart attack I had 4 years ago, although I am completely recovered and in the best shape of my life, I take them for preventative now.

I am still following the DB plan and trying to keep distance/detach. I may have backslid this morning, not sure. My W is going to be driving the 2 daughters to meet her parents half way and hand them off. It is about 7 hours round trip. As you all are well aware, gas is expensive. Since my W has not had many kids, in the daycare the last couple of weeks, she is feeling the lack of money crunch. So, I gave her 60 bux to help cover the cost of gas. She said no thanks, but I dropped it in her lap anyways. When I left for my walk, the money was still sitting there on the couch. When I got home 2.5 hours later, everyone was gone, but so was the money. I had been thinking about it the whole walk and expected it to still be there when I got home, but it wasn't. Is this a backslide I don't know, could she perceive it as Persuing???

I keep praying for God to give me the strength to move forward and be strong to make the right choices. That is at least one good thing that has come from this, is my recommitment to my religion. I'm sure I have listed my other 180s here b4 too. but if not, here they are:
1 Help around the house much more
2. Help the kids much more and be a better mentor
3. Lose weight (easy to do if you can't eat) down 41lbs at this point since Feb
4. New clothes (due to weight loss)
5. New cologne
6. Cut down on TV (65% reduction)
7. Make the bed EVERY morning
8. Reading self help books... Amazon loves me lately!
9. Patience demonstrated and lots of it (most proud of this)
10. No yelling
11. Speak with brain not heart(1 week now, this ones tough)
12. Prayers and 1 on 1 time with each kids at bedtime

Im sure there's more, when I notice I see something that needs doing, I do it.
No more, my job/her job. I am really proud of my progress and now I feel like I am the man I want to be.

Anyways...

I'm beat! I think I may take a siesta...

Love to you all ...

J

Me 45 W 34 W.A.W.
3K. D11 S9 D6
M 12 y T 13 y
Bomb drop 02/22/2011
2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011
Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011