New to the forum.

[Lonely in SLC]

I would like to get the opinion of others on something, as well as share some advice. Shortly after I found the 50 txts a day for over a month to the security guard on her phone bill, I was in a wreck. I confronted her, but she claimed that he was just a friend. I was so frustrated because I felt like she was lying. I began to search for the truth.

Over the next month and a half I became obsessed. I added a keystroke logger onto the computer so that I could check her emails, facebook, and checking account. She had blocked me from all of these. The only thing I found during this time was the fact she bought an XXL shirt that appeared to be for the security guard. She obviously denied it saying that she had bought it for our son and happened to get the wrong size.

I also sent a friend that she did not know to the club a couple of times to keep an eye on her. Both she and the security guard were there, but never spoke to each other. She only danced with her friends, all girls. It appeared to be a typical girls night out.

I also had her followed numerous times that she went out to the movies or dinner with her friends, thinking that she might be meeting up with some guy. She had told me the truth every time.

I have to admit, every time I had her followed, I was convinced she was meeting up with a guy. I was out of control. This was the worst, I was not healthy physically or mentally. I finally realized that I needed to begin detaching myself. This is when I moved out.

It has helped the little bit that I have detached myself. It is very difficult though. I still can't help checking on her facebook and checking account. Eventually I need to do this as well.

I still have my doubts if she had an EA or PA. The only thing I could never check on again was the txt messages on her phone. At this moment, I believe that she did not have a PA. But then again, why is she rushing to have a divorce.....even though she has explained this to me (posted in an earlier post). I believe that I am over-analyzing things. This is driving me crazy.