Now I'm not sure...

[canadianMrs.]

After months of DBing and a rollercoaster ride, H for the last 6 weeks has (for the most part) being trying to work on being a better person, father and even better to me. He would like to try again, but knows he has to work on himself. He is in IC. For awhile I was thrilled at the progress but the last couple of weeks I've ben really down. I'm actually on meds now. I'm so conflicted. As much as I want my marriage, I'm really not sure how to get over the A/OW. I still keep wondering how he could hurt the kids/I so much. I've seen the OW and she really isn't anything special, but now I find myself comparing her to me. My 2 biggest problems is I keep picturing the two of them together and as much as I like the man that H is being right now, I'm not sure I could ever let him touch me again. I know a lot of these thoughts have been explained because of how they are in MLC, but I'm just in such a dark place right now. Any words of wisdom would be great.