Don't know where I am

[Jack_Three_Beans]

but in both cases you were the ones that decided to move out. That's not the case here.

Thats sounds much nicer than me kicking her out.

She moved out, I do not believe in the LBSer being the one to vacate the family house because the (in my case MLC) spouse doesn't know if they want to be married.

I belive my wife would agree that the seperation clarified things for both of us and what we wanted. And she was NOT working on being married when that happened.

As for the divorce? Much like the house, it was a part of her reality. If she wanted it she would persue it, I wasn't going to lawyers and having paperwork drafted to make it easy for her.

Joe vs the Volcano? My favorite part was the moon and the lamp in the office. Going with the most likely volcano reference.

I think Harrier,

That you're more afraid of change on the BAD side. Potentially bad, not guarenteed.

Meanwhile:

Of course there is lots missing - affection, sex, etc. I won't say that I don't' miss those.

Somethings have to change.

I don't know how it was for you two before you moved out,

It was great! Then I found it was a house of lying liar cards (I'm going to trademark that), then it was horrible, and then it was weird, then it was ok then good then great then it was gate crashing down done horrible.

An IC...tends to promote power of self. So a marriage ins't usually at the forefront, and I tend to feel that most IC's lean toward parroting back what patient says to empower them. Empowering helps self esteem. But that is just me, and most doesn't mean all.

I know this is one-sided and my W does feel some tension, but it's not enough to not want me around.

From your point of view? (question borderline statement)

She still wants a seperation, right?

I know you don't want this to happen, but, BUT, she does. Do you see a way to stop it without turning her heart cold to you? Has anything you have tried or done changed her mind about it, slowed it down or taken it off the table?

The only comfort I can offer you about this, is that fighting it and you'll be worn down tired and angry, and it will still happen. Does your wife miss you when it does or does she breath a sigh of relief?

Make it your OWN choice to do this.

Do not say it worked for XYZ and Jack so it save/help may marriage. But take a look at how it (seperation) help us as men, fathers, friends and finally as husbands.

If it is going to happen Harrier.

Two choice with lots of gray in between.

Make that biotch yours, not the other way around.