Walking in Muskeg - Part IV - Squishy Rubber Boots

[Queen_of_Swords]

Thanks for your personal testimony Brooklyn I appreciate your perspective. You're right. Trust is a choice in the end.

Seems like we've had similar upbringings with similar challenges, except for a few things.

My Dad was the terrifying, raging, capricious, demanding, narcissitic alcoholic when he was around.

My mother just as negative as yours, perfectionistic like yours, screaming constantly at her children and overwhelmed by it all.

(That isn't to say they didn't have good qualities as well it's just what I remember most.)

It affected us in good ways and in bad but especially in our ability to trust others, the universe and God.

I'm not yet where you are Brooklyn, my own trust in myself has been badly shaken.
My trust in my ability to discriminate between the authentic people from the inauthentic is growing, but still needs refinement.
The assumptions/beliefs in what I thought was true about the world and my place in it are often not. I'm in a reassement phase.

I'll get there, but I'm not there yet.