What's holding me back is money and no where else to go. I just found out today that the apt I want is available but it will take them 1-2 weeks to get it ready (paint, clean the carpets, repairs, etc.. standard apt stuff I guess). I can move out next week when I get paid again without issue. I don't want to move out but that's what is going to happen.
You're right that she doesn't respect or admire me any longer. That's a terrible thing to realize but I realized it a couple months ago. I'm trying to get it back by showing her that she's wrong about me through my actions now. Not that I think I did too much wrong in our relationship but I do admit that there are things about me that I can improve. I think she has problems too, but I can only work on my issues, not hers. I hope that I'm not too late in trying to change what I need to change.
I do listen to her and I try to do what she expects and wants. But, at the same time, I've always done that, sometimes to a fault. I've been deferring to her for a long time and it's become a problem because I became all about her and none about me. I've ignored my needs to be chivalrous and it's kicked me right in the butt in this situation. So, I've been backing off on agreeing to jump when she says jump. It wasn't always like that either. Not in the first couple years. I think the relationship was going south so I started giving more and more until she didn't respect me any longer. I gave her all the power in the relationship... that was a bad thing to do.
