Didn't feel anything. It's been a pretty common remark
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She justified it
Only justified it because it was foreign to her parents. So yes, somewhere in there and for some reason she believes it.
I guess when I think about it it's related in a way to this. She comes from a large family, mostly girls. Her favorite sister is self made. She's a money magnet but in my opinion sold herself to get there. Another sister which is not so well liked married into it. She's lazy and arrogant. My wife in a way glorifies one and disdains the other. She seems to have a need to make it on her own. As if making it together would be unsatisfactory.
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Had she not explained it, what would your "more of the same" behaviour / comments have been? Possibly important, since she may have let the comment stand, had[quote] her parents not been there. Waiting to see if your typical reaction would have surfaced to continue to justify her reason to not rec. You can plan in advance now, so you aren't caught off guard.
To ignore it. since it doesn't fit into what I see as real I've never had a response. I'm stumped as to what one should be and never considered that there should be a response at all.
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Do you think this is recurring? What would she be looking for as a response, do you think? If this is recurring, then there is probably something here that you can support her on, without being pushy.
Yes recurring. Again. I'm stumped. It's not reality so I don't know how to respond to something imagined.
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I'd say this is significant, although... this would be a 180 for her. How do you feel you could respond?
This has stopped. Kissing is off and on. Sometimes good sometimes not. I try very hard not to pursue and am mostly successful.
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Do you feel the quiet time helps, hurts, or has no affect to your R?
For a time it helped. Probably just as a sign that things were different. It gets filled in now. Sometimes with business. Sometimes other things, and sometimes she listens to the things that I like to talk about. which are really boring and dry to most but exciting to me. She listens and tries to understand them whereas she previously was frustrated with having to listen to it.
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Or let me say that differently... any topic that you could introduce that she might be willing and excited to talk about, that you could just sit and listen to her talk about...?
Yes I do that. Also have done some other things out of character lately.
She hangs out with me. Comes to my office to hang out. We still have all our meals together and she only goes away late after dinner.
Today she said she's be hanging out with a friend for the weekend. and spending the third weekend this month with her sister. I acted as if it was no big deal and really it wasn't. Offering no objection to anything. Other than I did mention that her commute was now costing us $600 per month.
She gave me a nice kiss on the way out tonight.
I am keeping up on my jogging and making some changes in myself. So I guess I'm doing well.
Did take my ring off. I'm acting for the most part as if it's over.
I really realized how long I've been pursuing her. The relationship has always been this. What's happening now is not new. It happened even in our 20's many times. Only when I got frustrated and walked away did she come back each and every time.
I don't plan on doing that anymore. It's not fun. Either it gets fixed this time around or it breaks for good.
