It's an illness just like cancer and if your W had cancer would you abandon her?
Of course not.
BUT
If your W had cancer and she was beating you up because she was mad about it?
Listen, I know what you are dealing with.
And the guilt you may feel for wanting to run.
OW is a footwarmer. A comfort. Nothing more right now.
I hate to tell you this but you are in no place to make a choice about life partners right now.
Whether your W or OW.
You have likely have fallen into the codependent partner with your W.
You like to help. you would like to fix/rescue. Selfless.
It is easier to be the martyr than to face the cold reality.
YOUR W IS ILL.
It is time to figure out how you are going to live your life with it. The mother of your children WILL be in your life.
The first thing and it has already been said:
YOU CAN"T FIX THIS.
She has to and she likely feels shame, guilt, unworthiness, self loathing which is why she found a piece of sh!t who wouldn't possibly judge her for her condition.
She knew/knows something is wrong but like most people she didn't want to know.
Your goal now?
Man you have to look at the whole of this. I mean really let it sink in.
This is a person that is going to need your compassion.
NOT self sacrifice. They are not the same 9.
You have to move outside the crazy circle. Measure and control your reactions to her mayhem.
You have to be the rock for your family and that means not getting emotionally caught up in your nostalgic feelings for your W.
She will not be that person for a while or may never be.
It is a treatable condition.
That is up to her though.
What is up to you? What do see as your role in this?
What can you do?
What are you willing to do?
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
