At the advice of my physician, who deals with this a lot, he suggested I take control of the situation in order to mentally survive this. He recommended that if my wife didn't adress the affair soon, I present her with a list of choices she can make. If she can't choose, then I would make the choice for her to leave. It is an interesting excercise and it did give me a lot of comfort. His concern is that she is trying to have her cake and eat it too.
I agree with your physician. In DR it is an Ultimatum.
You absolutely can NOT do this yet. You are too emotional and reactive right now to execute this properly. Once you execute this, there is NO going back from this decision. You will have to enforce this boundary.
I'd rather you gain some control over your emotions before I see you attempt this. Keep venting Johnnie, I know you need to let this out and talk about it.
I can't tell you not to feel if a post was callous to you. However, the experience on this board hits people very hard and even though it really stings at the time, you will look back one day and say "They really tried to help me". It's also okay for you to express what bothered you. I commend you on standing up for yourself. The great posters on this sight all know if something isn't working, they do something different.
My advice to you, if something really made you that upset. Just look at it and dig deep as to why. "Why did that upset me so much?". Johnnie you are doing good, but until the dust settles you are acting out of fear and pain. Control that and it will get better.
