I am in denial in a way. I am sure it would just be easier for me if I kicked her out of the house so that the rainbow she thinks she sees would disappear. I just can't do that to her though... At least not yet. As every day passes I feel more and more certain that the inevitable end to this is divorce. If that's true, why do I allow the torture. I am going to talk to a lawyer tomorrow. Just so I know what my legal rights and rsspondsabilities are.
At the advice of my physician, who deals with this a lot, he suggested I take control of the situation in order to mentally survive this. He recommended that if my wife didn't adress the affair soon, I present her with a list of choices she can make. If she can't choose, then I would make the choice for her to leave. It is an interesting excercise and it did give me a lot of comfort. His concern is that she is trying to have her cake and eat it too. Living in a comfortable lifestyle, with the excitement of a romance on the side. He is right. She is just sticking in until she gets a full time job that pays a high salary so that she can start her new life. How much damage to my sanity will she inflict over that time. I am so conflicted on what to do. On one hand if she stays, there is the opportunity for the DR to work (maybe). On the other hand if I kick her out, she may find that the ideal relationship and ideal life is not at all what she thought.
I am pretty much at where I want to be with my changes... I have made drastic improvements and if I go much farther, I won't be being true to myself.
I have been doing a great job sticking to the DR techniques for the last month. Even though I reverted on Sunday with news of her affair.
I need to give it more time.
I have a job interview next week and the way I am right now, there is no way in hell I will make it through the interview. Just think how stressful job interviews normally are, then add the stress of wifes A then takeaway all of my self confidence...
It's daunting to say the least...
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
