Walking in Muskeg - Part IV - Squishy Rubber Boots

[Queen_of_Swords]

LOL I explained that before Jack.
I'm the one caught between those two monsters. Maybe I should have called myself Scylla-Caughtbetween-Charibdis...but I don't think the field for names is big enough for that

As far as the armor. Survival Jack, I developed that armor to survive as a child.

I'll explain what was taught to me.
Have you heard of Eric Erikson's developmental phases of childhood?

One of the first tasks/lessons that we have to complete as children is that of Trust. Trust that the world is a safe and nurturing place. Trust that our needs will be met by our parents. That we are acceptable just for who we are as infants ( *Note: we can suffer rejection in the womb at 6 months gestation, especially if our mothers had us out of wedlock, didn't want to be pregnant, or were abused during pregnancy). This lack of learning to trust also affects our spirituality in that we don't trust in a benevolent God, or even that their is one.

I never learned that lesson Jack. As an infant I was already rejected for various reasons as I could percieve it
(kinesthetically/chemically via maternal stress hormones) Growing up for me the world was uncertain, my needs were often unmet, and adults capricious and often cruel.

I have to learn trust. That's hard if you have always had to be suspicious of motives, watch for abuse/mistreatment, or had to adapt to any threat on a dime.

I'm getting there Jack, but this is not easy to do.