Can My Marriage Be Saved?

[any chance?]

Hang in there. Be strong. Take a walk, get some fresh air and try to put things in perspective. We in a frustrating pattern of up and down, hills and valleys. You will come back up. No doubt about it.

[a girl]

I'm not sure how an affair would change my DB strategy. It would help me understand - right now I just feel adrift - I can't find the logic or reason for what's happening. At least an affair would allow me to say, "Aha! Ok. I get it now."

I'm not sure that makes sense.

[Queen_of_Swords]

To me...it sounds like there is a possibility of an EA.
I suspect, but have no proof of one in my situation as well.
Nothing for me changes. Not WoW but Evercrack.
Until he decides I'm better than a ghost in the machine, and I accept that may not happen.

[a girl]

To me...it sounds like there is a possibility of an EA.
I suspect, but have no proof of one in my situation as well.
Nothing for me changes. Not WoW but Evercrack.
Until he decides I'm better than a ghost in the machine, and I accept that may not happen.

That's where I'm trying to be, but the uncertainty is making me crazy. There's nothing I can do, though - there's no way to find out unless he decides to admit it.

[~¤DG¤~]

The uncertainty is hard, but just remind yourself that you only have control of you and that you WILL be happy, regardless.

I think I have finally dropped the rope, and I never, ever thought I'd have the strength to do that. If I can get there, I know you will too.

[a girl]

Thanks. I'm trying. It's so difficult.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

It's so difficult.

And so worth it. Listen to DG.

[tank]

hang in there agirl

[~¤DG¤~]

(((Girl)) I know exactly how you are feeling right now and I wish I could make it go away.

If you've read all my threads you know what a mess I was when I first joined and how I continued to be a mess up until a few weeks ago.
Even though this is my 2nd marriage (and possible D) it's a lot more painful. My exh and I were so young when we married and divorced, it didn't affect me the way this is affecting me now.

You WILL get through this. This I promise you.

[a girl]

Had a talk tonight after MC. I asked how he can say he's "trying" to work on our relationship when he's constantly hiding from me - upstairs when I'm in the office, in the office when I'm in the bedroom, basically no interaction with me at all.

He agreed he had been hiding, and it's because it's too hard to be around me - I'm always sad, I make him feel sad because I want him to stay married to me and he can't. He said he can't get over the past, and now the MC is saying regardless of what happens with us, he personally needs to find a way to come to terms with it - that seemed to hit him.

I told him that at this point, I don't want to be with him - I don't want to be with someone who has given up on me. I don't want to talk about the marriage, the relationship, any of it - it's too much stress, it makes us miserable.

I told him I want to work on just being friends. Continuing to see the MC and trying to have a friendship - regardless of what happens, we need that, if only for our son.

That seemed to make him feel better - he came and sat by me on the couch, so that was nice. We chatted a bit about normal stuff.

We'll see how it goes - I truly believe that the basis of any relationship is friendship, so if we can just focus on that for a while, maybe the rest will come. If not, at least we'll have that for our son's sake.