Sorry, went off the grid for the last week. Just trying to get well away from all this stuff. Sometimes is therapeutic, sometimes it just feels like I am obsessing on this forum board.
W and I continue to have amicable relations, but no real changes in her position toward our marriage and none expected anytime soon. We both keep it good in front of the kids, who continue to stay at my place / their home full time. Only short visits to mom's house to lie in the summer sun, or eat dinner. Then they immediately come back to "their home". Neither W nor I pressure them to stay one place or the other.
Took the kids with friends to the beach for 4th of July (our Independence Day celebration). W did not go and elected to go to "friends" house for BBQ. We had tons of fun (big parade, sun, sand, waves, pizza, ice cream, bon fire, roasted marshmallows, spectacular fireworks over the Pacific Ocean). W called kids that evening while we were there and they raved to her. This was W's favorite beach town, so I know it had an impact. That was her life, but so long as she continues down her path, times like this for her are a thing of the past.
We had dinner as a family last night after D13's tennis match. Again, amicable, no drama. We continue to keep our separation informal while we unwind our investments. Plan is still to D after this is done.
In light of this, and the fact we have been separated now since late Jan-11, the biggest change has been my stance on dating while separated. Recently I changed my position and decided dating should now become an important part of me GAL and moving toward "moving on". Got an internet date lined up with a very pretty 44-year old gal (I am 49). I am corresponding with several other women on a reputable dating website. I am very clear about my separated status, and about just wanting a casual date and not looking for anything serious.
I will be meeting this date at my W's and mine's favorite wine bar. We know lots of people in this town, the owner of the bar, etc. This date will likely feedback to W. I assure everyone that this is not revenge ploy. However, it is intended to send W a message. I am starting to move one. I think of it as the ultimate detachment. Obviously, I have no religious issues associated with my decision. My position is that I will date whom I like, if and when I so choose, and that includes any future dating possiblities with my W. The choice will me mine, not hers. I am taking control back over my life. I miss my wife dearly, but need to begin the healing. This includes choosing how I spend my days and evenings. I make no assumptions whether W and I will ever get back together. I continue to remain positive in my daily outlook, but am just adding to my options in how I will proceed with my future. No longer will W be the one to make that choice for me.
