MIL had heart surgery yesterday and is now in a private room to recover. W is leaving Sunday to go and care for her for two weeks. Per advice from 25yearsmic, I have taken more of a GAL stance. I have not told w that I loved her or kissed her anymore since 21 June. W did bring up topic of missing OM last Sunday and that was she was down about mom having to have the heart surgery. I just told her that I needed someone to love me and respect me too and left the room. As I told my SIL yesterday, I don't have time for this 'crap' anymore. I'm going to be happy and I refuse to let her bring me down when she's feeling that way. You're right, maybe I should kick her to the curb and I am hiding behind my faith a little, but I'm also giving my son the best chance at a senior year of high school with a 'balanced' life rather than worrying about who's house or apt to go to for the weekend or watching his parents (mostly mom) self-destruct. You're right, GAL. Well, I'm still going to college (started back in Jan due to this crap) and I've stopped saying I love you and trying to please her every chance I get or that comes along. She's picked up cooking more at home and I don't clean the house unless she helps instead of me doing it all by myself.
I do hear you 25yearsmic and I def respect and appreciate your input. I grow stronger each day and look forward to the day I'm free of this mess one way or the other, but I have to try the DBing first because I didn't the entire 6+ years prior to me starting 29 Apr of this year. Yes, if this doesn't work out by the time he graduates and I get an "oh by the way, I'm leaving you" speech from w then I will know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I did EVERYTHING to save my marriage. So when my kids ask us, I can be proud to say "yes, I did everything to try and save our marriage." I put up with a lot of crap, but I stuck it out to the bitter end.
I need your candid feedback and it def helps. I don't kno if u see that in my response here, but it does.
Thank you.
M: 48 (2nd marriage) W: 47 (1st marriage) T: 22 M: 21 D (M, 1st Marriage: 26) D (M, 1st Marriage: 24) S: 18 EA: 31 Dec 2004 ILYBINILWY: 31 Dec 2004 In all things give thanks to God; I thank you God.
