XYZ is here, and it looks like I'm staying...

[XYZ]

Harrier, normally I can't stand lawyers (and I have a family FULL of them), but you're awright man.

[Harrier]

Well, that makes 2 of us. My Sis is a L and her H is an L. They are about the only ones I can stand.

But I'm mainly a business lawyer and a poet and full-time dreamer.

[Harrier]

I will add that the other forum I belong to...a running one...is pretty active and you usually get a lot of comments on threads. So I have to change my expectations.

[XYZ]

H -

You asked what I'm looking for. The reality is only 2 specifics. (1) I'd like that therapy appt made. She specifically told me (2 weeks ago tonight) that she'd make it and (2) just a continual (one every few days or week) set of baby steps that helps me to see progress.

Some examples of baby steps that I'd like to see, but have no specific timetable for:
* More "off schedule" time to prove that once wasn't a fluke
* More first ILY's again, to prove that once wasn't a fluke
* W contact me when it's not about the kids
* Time together 1 on 1
* A date!
* Any physical contact at all
* then the biggies later....moving home, kiss, hug, sex, renew our vows, honeymoon to Napa...., but I'm waiting a week or two for those. lol.

[XYZ]

What am I bitching about? Just got "off schedule" dinner invite... 2 weeks in a row now..

[XYZ]

Guess last week wasn't a fluke after all.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

* More "off schedule" time to prove that once wasn't a fluke

Check

[Harrier]

I'm thinking with piecing ... there isn't much room for flukes.

[XYZ]

Good dinner. The best part? It was uneventful. Just a normal ole family dinner out....right up the part where W and the kids get in her car to go to her house and I get in my car to go to my house. Otherwise, completely normal. I guess that's actually very good, huh?

Now...if she'd just schedule that damn therapy appointment....

[Jack_Three_Beans]

and be on time? :p

We are taught, I hope, from this place that expecations are not good for our state of being in limbo.

When in piecing you are rebuilding a relationship.

AND a relationship is built upon expectations being met.

I will tell you right now that if my wife told me in all honesty that she loved me but we would never have sex again for any reason beyond a physical imparment. I'd see that as her not meeting my expectation.

Not telling the spouse about an expectation you have, but holding them to it?

Pretty passive aggresive behaviour.

Have you mentioned to her how important you would view that, when she made the appointment? At a time when she was listening and understood what you were saying?

You have mentioned this many times here, and I GET that it is important to you (and I'm a guy who doesn't listen)...how many times have you told her?