I agree with most of what you're hearing, especially the part about keeping your family safe, especially those kids! Do everything you can to learn about bi-polar and be compassionate and a friend to your W right now. The advice is spot on, now is NOT the time to even be thinking about reconciliation.
The way I see it, this shouldn't be an either/or decision 9. It's not W or OW. When the time is right (and ftr that time is NOT now) and you are in a place to be making such choices, the choice should be W or not W. Period.
Hard to make that call with distractions, kwim?
If you chose W then you are either standing or piecing, depending on where she's at ... if not, well then you have a clear way to move on. (BTW, when people here talk about moving forward, they do not necessarily mean move on to someone else.)
Good luck to you my fellow Canuck, you've got a wild ride ahead of you yet ...
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
