Life, the Universe and DBing

[LearningPatience]

Just a few random thoughts and feelings this morning.

First, it's hard to type with a splint on your middle finger. Normally I'd be 'happy' that it's my left hand, but that's where all the 'cool' keys are. Nice little reminder of things *not* to do anymore.

I've been missing W more lately. There's a huge gulf between what I *want* to do and what I will do. I want to reach out to her and see how she is doing. I will stay dark until W makes contact first.

I've got two things coming up that will be hard on Saturday. First one is my running club. Every other week, their route goes right by W's house. I don't think I'll ever see this, but I dread seeing OMs car there at 7:30 am. Second thing is the wedding and reception we're going to that day (separately of course). What I dream happening is W coming up to me and talking and we hit it off like new people getting to know each other. What will likely happen is that we will each glance at the other through the night and neither of us will go talk to the other. Guess we'll see.

Part of me wants to ask SD how her mom is doing. Part of me also wants to ask SD how *she's* doing with all this going on. Again, the gulf between what I want to do and what is the right thing to do (i.e. not ask).

It's coming up on 1 year of S and last ML. Might explain some of my feelings, might just be missing her. Yet, despite all that, I do like living alone and I don't want to go back 'home' unless we are working on our R/M.

It might also be that despite the melatonin, I still woke up at 2:30.