We'll be having the memorial next weekend...at her favourite Chinese Restaurant! Should be interesting to say the least. Btw, Will and Kate send their best to you all!
Well, yesterday was Canada Day. I was supposed to go on an out of town day trip with Voldemort, the kids and some friends. I had a terrible nights sleep, my stomach was bothering me all night so in the morning I phoned Voldemort and backed out. So, in the afternoon I decided to go to the park and do some reading afterwards I headed to a hiking trail I've wanted to explore but never have. In the evening I walked half an hour to the park for a Canada Day fireworks display. It was strange being there alone while so many families were there enjoying themselves. Usually Voldemort and the kids join me and often my parents drove up to join us. But, it was a lovely display and I rushed home to watch my Toronto Argonauts finish off the Calgary Stampeders. Our Canadian Football League season began this weekend. Today, I'm going to meet a friend and her kids at the mall...what possessed me to agree to that is beyond me! Anyway, that's my update. Later Dbers.
It wasn't bad at all, Mish! She gave her kids $20 each, they wandered around the mall, came back and checked in every hour while we sat and had a wonderful time catching up for three hours over coffee. She's been separated for over nine years. Hubby left her for his "soul mate" (he's on his third one since then) with two young kids. Her and I worked together for about ten years and have kept in touch for ages since then. When I separated she was a major support, we'd get together every two weeks or so. She's been dealing with depression for a while and has a very stressful job. Anyway, enough of that. We had a great visit and she has two incredible daughters, just like mine!
And another one that just won't up and get a D? I know, harping on the same subject. I just am so curious as to why in the heck anyone stays M'd but separated that long? What is the advantage to that? No one actually moves forward with their life, just hanging in limbo forever sounds like absolute misery to me.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I think it is a bit different in Canada than here in the US. I remember one of my Canadian friends saying that they didn't see the need to get divorced unless they were going to marry. Just a different way of looking at things. Who is to say which is best?
Even though we speak the same language and share the same continent, it doesn't mean we view things the same way.
Kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I don't know how it works in the U.S. but in Canada, unless there are certain reasons to do otherwise, you must wait one year to file for a divorce. Maybe after one year passes there is less intensity around it, I dunno. I haven't done it because it's just not something I see as urgent. I don't have anyone in my life that I'm dating, have no one I plan to ask and therefore don't see what difference it makes at this point. If I was involved with someone it might be a different story.Maybe I'm wrong and am missing some psychological aspect of the whole deal, who knows. There's also the financial aspect to consider. If I file for D I pay the shot, she doesn't even need a lawyer to represent her 'cuz I don't need her agreement for a D. Now, in my friend's case, her husband can be very difficult and they did not have a SA when he left and without that it can make the D procedure much more complicated as everything has to be negotiated and agreed upon from scratch. I think she just doesn't want the hassle with him. Things are going well right now in raising the kids and co-parenting so why rock the boat. She doesn't need the crap. Anyway, that's my take on things...for now.
Very interesting. I'm just always curious about people's motivations.
I think it would make a big difference to me if I had planned on dating just because I don't believe in dating anyone if you are still legally M'd to someone even if they have been gone for years, but that's just me. It's some part of ingrained training in my upbringing I guess!
Wii, there are some states in the US that require a legal separation for a year before D can be filed, others that require 6 months of just living apart and then some, like mine, have ZERO requirement of any kind. A D can literally be final start to finish in less than 3 months if everyone agrees to everything. Sad that a M can be taken apart that easily.
I hope the memorial goes well this weekend. Interesting having it at a Chinese restaurant.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
