New to the forum.

[Lonely in SLC]

I just wanted to write some things that are passing through my mind today.

The 4th of July weekend was fun. I had my kids the whole time. We enjoyed going up to the family cabin on Saturday. Other family members saw a bear within a mile of the cabin. Kids had to sleep inside after that.

On Monday we went to fireworks show at a local park. It was a little difficult due to the fact that I remembered that one of our first dates before marrying was doing the exact same thing. I even saw the tree that we sat under 12 years ago......

There have been some difficult times. I noticed on her facebook that she changed her status on her relationship from married to its complicated. She also had some pictures of her and her friends at a night club on Saturday night. The clothes she was wearing she would have never worn previously during our marriage to a night club. I mentioned to her that a family member told me about this (she unfriended me earlier saying that she wants her privacy regarding facebook). Needless to say I should not have mentioned anything. She immediately blocked all of my family members and was upset.

I am reading the DR for the second time. One thing that has helped me understand its concepts better is highlighting the portions that stand out to me.

I definitely need to make some changes. One thing I am having a hard time with is should I do the 180 or LRT. I am currently flip flopping between the two as well as pursuing her. I know, stop the pursuing, but it is hard. Stupid me.

To let you know where we are at, the divorce paperwork is almost finalyzed. We have done everything without the aid of attorney's. At least, I don't believe she has had one. I have a meeting next Wednesday with an attorney just to review the paperwork to make sure I made no stupid concessions or mistakes. Afterwards, paperwork will be signed and the divorce final probably within a month. Things have moved very quickly.

Going back to the 180 vs LRT. Under the section stop the chase, I'm currently doing only 6 of the 11 bullets of things that I should not be doing. Ha ha ha. Had to throw some humor in. But seriously, I need to do better.

Which leads me to this.
Goal 1 - No more looking at her facebook. Try to take this a day at a time.
Goal 2 - Move out of parents house into an apartment. It will be tough financially, but I just can't feel like a man without having my own place.
Goal 3 - Become more spiritual. I could use the help. This includes reading 5 pages a day from the scriptures, and attending church at least once a month.
Goal 4 - GAL. During the marriage I never had a need to have friends. My family was everything. I am currently thinking of ways to do this. I could use some input from others....

Thanks for reading, please write some replys, I could use the company.