I'm sorry to tell you that NOT thinking about it is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
I thought about it ALL the time. I sat outside the apartment of the 22 year old that my then wife of 21 years had boffed, just willing him to show up.
I knocked on his door every hour for the better part of a day, sure that he was there and wanting to let him have it.
I drove past the apartment she rented anytime I was near it, just to see if someone else is there.
You're not a weakling because youfeel this way. No one is suggesting that.
We're just trying to maybe spare you some of the time that we wasted when we were exactly in your shoes.
She's gone. Keep telling yourself that until it sinks in.
Expect the worse and find a way to accept it. While you're at it, be thinking about how you might be able to move past it someday if things work out.
People here are forever telling you to focus on yourself because that's the only thing each of us found that allowed us the ability to STOP thinking about what our spouse was doing.
Honestly, we know what you're going through, and it truly [censored].
Deal with it, bit my bit, little by little. Reward yourself in some way for those moments that you're able to put her out of your mind. Positive reinforcement.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
